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Our grandchildren don’t just look up to us as kind ladies who bake cookies and tell stories. They look to us as moral compasses, as examples of how to live, love, and treat others. The things we say—especially when we think they’re not really paying attention—can leave a lasting impact, for better or worse.
And sometimes, without even realizing it, we can say things that make them see us in a less favorable light. So let’s talk about ten important things we should never discuss in front of our grandkids, unless we want to risk them losing respect for us.
1. Criticizing Their Parents
This one is at the top for a reason. No matter how much we may disagree with our children’s parenting styles, we should never, ever criticize them in front of the grandkids.
Even a light comment like, “Your mama’s too soft on you,” can create tension. It puts the child in the uncomfortable position of choosing loyalty. It can also plant seeds of confusion or disobedience toward their parents—and that’s not a garden we want to help grow.
Remember: if they hear us disrespecting their parents, they may think it’s okay to do the same—or worse, they may start to think less of us for saying it.
2. Talking Negatively About Bodies—Theirs or Ours
We may be used to poking fun at our own aging bodies or making comments about someone’s appearance, but to young ears, it can be damaging.
Saying things like, “I used to be skinny like you before I got old and fat,” or “You’re getting chubby—you better watch that,” can leave lasting wounds.
Even self-criticism like “I hate my wrinkles” teaches them that appearance is everything, and we don’t want to pass on body insecurities. Instead, let’s model self-love, acceptance, and grace in how we talk about ourselves and others.
3. Gossiping About Family, Friends, or Neighbors
Children may seem like they’re distracted while we’re chatting, but trust me—they’re listening. If they hear us talking behind people’s backs, whether it’s about a sibling’s drama or a neighbor’s habits, they start to question our integrity.
They may wonder: “If Grandma says this about Aunt Sue, what does she say about me when I’m not around?”
Gossip may seem harmless in the moment, but it teaches kids that it’s okay to speak poorly about others. It chips away at our credibility and undermines the values we hope to instill in them.
4. Ranting About Politics or the State of the World
We’ve earned our opinions, no doubt. But if we constantly complain about political parties, public figures, or “how bad things are today,” it can come off as angry or close-minded.
Our grandkids need to see that it’s possible to hold strong beliefs and still be respectful. They’re growing up in a world where empathy and open-mindedness are essential. Let’s be part of that lesson—not a contradiction to it.
5. Using Harsh, Inappropriate, or Old-Fashioned Offensive Language
Even if we grew up saying certain phrases or jokes that were once “acceptable,” times have changed—and language carries weight.
Words that degrade, stereotype, or offend—even when said in jest—can quickly turn a grandchild’s admiration into discomfort or embarrassment.
We should be mindful not just of curse words, but also outdated terms or slurs we may not realize are hurtful today. If we want their respect, we must show that we’re still growing and willing to learn—even at our age.
6. Over-Sharing About Aging, Ailments, and Death
Yes, aging comes with its fair share of aches and losses, and sometimes it’s comforting to talk about it. But if every visit becomes a health update or a list of who recently passed away, our grandkids may begin to associate time with us as depressing.
Children admire resilience, strength, and optimism. Let’s show them that even in our older years, we still carry light, laughter, and a zest for life.
7. Revealing Family Secrets or Scandals
Some stories are best left behind closed doors—or better yet, untold altogether. Sharing tales of family drama, old betrayals, or long-held secrets might feel like harmless storytelling, but to young hearts, it can be deeply unsettling.
It may cause them to question their loved ones, lose trust, or feel a sense of shame about where they come from. Not every truth is age-appropriate, and not every story needs to be passed down.
8. Dismissing the Present in Favor of the “Good Old Days”
Oh, how tempting it is to reminisce! And yes, we had some beautiful times. But if all we do is complain about “kids these days,” “music today,” or “how nobody has manners anymore,” we risk sounding bitter—and outdated.
Let’s show interest in their world. Ask about their music, their hobbies, their favorite shows. Let them see that Grandma isn’t stuck in the past—she’s curious and open-minded, even now.
9. Discussing Personal or Intimate Relationship Details
There are certain topics that don’t belong in the ears of children—especially things like our romantic frustrations, past relationships, or private matters that are too grown-up for them.
Even with teens, it’s best to keep those conversations age-appropriate. Oversharing about personal issues can damage boundaries and confuse their understanding of what’s healthy in a relationship.
Let’s keep our role clear and respectful—and never forget that we are their safe space, not their gossip buddy.
10. Always Acting Like We Know Everything
We’ve learned a lot over the years, but let’s be honest—we don’t know it all. And when we act like we do, dismissing new ideas or always having the last word, it can make our grandkids tune us out.
They respect us more when we say, “That’s interesting—I hadn’t thought of it that way,” or “Teach me how you do that on your phone.” Humility goes a long way, even in a seasoned heart.
Final Thought from Grandma’s Rocking Chair
At the end of the day, dear fellow grandmothers, our goal isn’t just to be loved—it’s to be respected. And respect is earned not through lectures or corrections, but through kindness, thoughtfulness, and self-awareness.
Let’s be the kind of women they look up to not just because we’re older, but because we’re wiser, gentler, and more mindful with our words.
Because the truth is, our grandchildren may forget half of what we say,
But they’ll never forget how we made them feel when they were around us.
