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What a beautiful blessing it is to have a house — and a heart — full of grandchildren. Whether you have three or thirty, the love we feel for each one is endless. But let’s be honest, balancing our time, our hugs, and our attention between all of them can sometimes feel like juggling with our eyes closed!
It’s not about giving each one the exact same slice of cake — it’s about making sure every grandchild knows deep in their heart: Grandma sees me. Grandma loves me. Grandma is proud of me.
And believe me, dear friends, with a little thoughtfulness and heart, we can make each grandchild feel like they’re the most special one in the room.
Here are some gentle ways we can do just that:
1. Schedule One-on-One Time (Even in Small Doses)
When you have a large family, finding hours for each grandchild might seem impossible. But it doesn’t have to be a grand production or take up an entire afternoon. Sometimes all it takes is a simple, focused moment just between the two of you.
A ten-minute phone call where you ask only about their life. A quiet walk around the garden where you listen to their stories without distractions. A handwritten note tucked into their backpack. A solo trip to the ice cream shop, just the two of you giggling over double-scooped cones.
These little one-on-one moments whisper, “You matter to me,” and those whispers are what build the loudest memories in their hearts. The more intentional we are about making space for them individually, the more loved and valued they’ll feel.
2. Create Traditions Unique to Each Child
Children thrive on traditions. They love knowing there’s something that’s just theirs with you — not shared with siblings or cousins.
Maybe you always bake snickerdoodles with one, build fairy houses in the backyard with another, and work on a big jigsaw puzzle every winter with a third. Maybe you read a special book series with one grandchild that no one else shares.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. It just has to be consistent enough that when they think of Grandma, their heart smiles with that special memory.
3. Celebrate Each Grandchild’s Passions
One of the greatest gifts we can give our grandchildren is the feeling of being seen for who they truly are.
If one grandchild loves painting, ask them to show you their newest creation — and listen as they describe every color choice. If another grandchild plays soccer, come to a game if you can, or at least ask how their last match went. If one loves outer space, send them an article about the latest rocket launch with a note that says, “I thought of you when I saw this!”
When we take the time to step into their world, even just a little, they feel cherished in a way that lights up their self-esteem forever.
4. Be Fully Present When You’re With Them
We grandmothers are experts at multitasking — balancing dinner on the stove, answering the door, sorting through bills, and changing a diaper all at once! But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is stop everything else and just be with our grandchild.
Look them right in the eye. Listen without half-thinking about your grocery list. Laugh at their silly jokes. Marvel at their magic tricks (even when you clearly see the card hidden up their sleeve!).
Your full attention is a rare and priceless gift in today’s busy world, and it says louder than words: You are important to me.
5. Use Your Words Generously and Specifically
We should never underestimate the power of our words. A simple, “I’m so proud of you,” or “I love how kind you are to your siblings,” is something that can stick with a child for a lifetime.
But even better? Be specific. Instead of a general, “You’re great,” say, “I love how you always notice when someone is left out and invite them to play.” That shows them that you not only love them — you see them.
Sprinkle those affirmations like wildflower seeds everywhere you go, and watch their confidence bloom.
6. Be Fair — But Also Be Flexible
It’s important to strive for fairness, but we must remember that fairness doesn’t always mean doing exactly the same thing for every child.
Sometimes, one grandchild will need a little more attention or support than the others for a season. Maybe they’re going through a rough patch at school. Maybe their parents are going through a divorce. Maybe they just had a new sibling and are feeling a little lost in the shuffle.
Loving each child equally doesn’t always mean giving exactly the same — it means giving each one what they need most from you in that moment.
And trust me, dear hearts, children understand more than we think. They feel when love is genuine, even when the circumstances differ.
7. Mark Special Occasions Thoughtfully
Grandchildren treasure being remembered. Birthday cards, a quick congratulatory call after a school performance, a “Good luck on your test!” text — all these little acknowledgments help remind each child they are important and never forgotten.
Even if you have a long list of grandkids, a simple calendar with reminders can help you stay on top of all their big days. (And if you miss a day? It’s never too late to celebrate them a little late — the love still counts!)
8. Create Group Memories While Making Individual Connections
Family gatherings are one of life’s greatest joys! But with a big family, it’s easy for quieter children to get lost in the crowd.
During family events, make it a point to have even a tiny private moment with each grandchild. Pull them aside to say, “I’m so proud of how you helped your cousin with their jacket,” or “Tell me about that book you were reading!”
They’ll remember those small side conversations just as much as the group photos and the big hugs at the end of the day.
9. Trust in the Ever-Expanding Nature of Love
Here’s one of life’s beautiful truths, dear friends:
Love isn’t a pie where each new grandchild means a smaller slice for everyone else.
Love is dough — it stretches, it rises, it grows bigger the more you need it to.
Your heart has room for every giggle, every hug, every proud moment, and every tear your grandkids share with you. Trust that by loving intentionally, you are enough. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You just have to keep showing up with a willing heart.
Final Thoughts
We don’t have to be perfect grandmothers. Our grandkids don’t need a flawless version of us — they need the real us. The one who shows up with messy buns, flour on our aprons, laugh lines around our eyes, and wide-open arms.
Balancing time, love, and affection among many grandchildren isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about small, steady acts of connection over and over again. It’s about making sure each little heart feels heard, seen, and cherished.
And if you’re reading this and worrying about whether you’re doing it well — take a deep breath. That worry already shows how deeply you care.
And that, my dear, makes you a wonderful grandmother.
Keep going, Grandma. You’re weaving a love story into each of their lives that they’ll carry with them forever.
